Why do you think one would have ual dreams making love to the devil ?

I had recently discovered that when i was little I had been part of ritual abuse since then it almost seems that I am infatuated with the devil , I have delved into spells,tarot animal sacrifices and ouija boards in my teens and I had stopped when I got married and had kids except for the tarot and spells til about three years ago, I bagan growing a relationship with the God but now that I have discovered thru therapy that I was involved as a baby thru toddler years that I was ritually abused I have become more fascinated with the darkness and have lost touch with God. Since this has happened I will wake up to making love to the dark one. Lost and confused!